What does the scarecrow think?

"It's A Bummerful Life!" perchance?

Ol' Ozwald's thoughts are between him and the lamp post...
(the one he just Wiz-zed on)

...but he might
care to share his thought - if you would care to dig past
the outside garbage, and dive for hidden...

PEARLS IN THE SWILL

A Ragtag Odyssey From Bummlery To Metamundanics

(Where, How, and Whotthehell to follow)

Things may seem to start out In The Swill for the protagonist...
but Pearls of 'Wit and Wisdom' are seen to shine along the way;
these being the'gems' of God given I- magination, which can redeem a
human being's humanity, whatever the grubby appearances around him.

It's also a quasi- account of (Hallelujiah-I'm-) a Bum's Life
... when such an animal is kept in captivity; a sittyation that's
treated with... not exactly what you'd call 'gallows' humor -- but
yer heels sure`n hell are danglin' off the floor!!!

Our Antihero is ushered into a Lower Depths type of atmosphere,
which he accepts at face value, as it's shelter from a cold winter.
But that's not all the place provides...; he also discovers that he's
given enough 'space' to look around and view things Not Neccesarily
As They Seem; rather, as comic or wonderous, or any other way his
fancy strikes him

Like the Man said,'way back when: 'Judge
not by appearance...' Anywhere you are, becomes what you make of it.
You've got to snorkel through the swill to reach the oyster bedrock
below; THAT sums up where THIS book is at !!

TABLE OF DISCONTENTS

PROLOGUE: WHERE SHALL AH GO...?
WHAT SHALL AH DO...?

1. Follow The Yellow Snow Road

In which our Antihero is tagged off base, half bagged...but hears
of the Promised Landfill.

2. 2300: A Small Odyssey

After stealing past Jerry and Jinx (high variety), he slides
(safe!) into a Home For The Lowly High

CHAPTER I: LOININ' DA ROPES

1. Rules, Regs And
Ratbreath

In which he encounters a Catholic Rodent, and bunks
in a Home...Where a straight-shootin' Buffalo Roam.

2. Where
The Boys Are

A hand --and almost a Fist-- is extended by the
Urban Housewino's Welcome (off the ) Wagon

CHAPTER II: DRUNKATIS PERSONAE

1.Send In The Clods

More hard core clowns from The Greatest Show of Dearth,
performing Animal Acts in all their shallow depth. A micro parallel
to the macrocosmic Grandstandus Quo...?

2. The Staff Of Lice

A look at the Tamers of the Big Topheavy, who try to keep it's
Beastieboys at bay.

3. To The Ladies Round

In the midst
of all this devolution, a more humane look at humanity from On
High...; a trip up Parnassus, to visit the Kitchen Muses who feed
the Circus Maximus monkeys.

CHAPTER III: WHAT HE'S GOTTA DO, PILGRIM

1. Know Thy Neighbors...Or Maybe Notteth

Whad'ye do wth a Drunken Freedom? Go West, North, East;
beats sitting on your dead anthill with a honeyed butt...to
what end...?

2. Kick The Canner

Makin' a Livin'-- or at least a Drinkin'
-- without really workin'; a Junkyard Junta

3. Sucker, Can
You Spare A Dime ?

Bum from a bum without leaving home!
Orville Redden nekker gets popped.

4. Come Weeth Me To Ze
Casbarf

The Fleabag Market; entrepeneurism explored, explained,
and eeccchhh...!!!!!

Been down so long it looks like Apes to
me.

CHAPTER IV: PARIAH, WHERE DO YOU ROAM?

1. Rousted And Riled

On an overdue springtime walk, a double rush...; first, from the new greening, then (bum's variety), from two
old blue meanies in a "respectable" neighborhood

2. A Bridge
Too Middle (East)

'I talk to the treees...' asks and answers
the musical question: how do you walk for song and profit?

A Close Encounter of the Third World kind.

3. A Little Prayer

The Odd- yssey wafts onto gentler shores. A poignant Look Back In Arglebargle; after the scavenge, journey's end is touched by a chord from a remembered song...

CHAPTER V : THE INNOCENTS ABAD

House Party at the zoo!
(Art Linkletter would blush -- then toss his teacookies)

A New Kid On The (chopping) Block goes through his Rite of Passout.

1. Sunday Mornin', Comin' Down

Two charter members of the St. A's Breakfast Club discuss Divine
Metaphysics, Secular Hangovers, and debate fine points of
grammar... as soon as they remember How To Make Their Mouths Work

2. The Bleat Of The Ancient Merino

An uninvited old Billy Goat spews forth what's on his mind and
what's in his mouth (both half digested garbage), till a Dinner
Guest ties a can to his tale for the sake of the General Good Taste.

3. Town Council

A meeting of the mindless; proctor Tom
fields kvetches, bitches, and Little Boy Boo hoos.

He finally puts a lid on it by corking the chief open orifice --
to wit, a Slathering Mouth.

CHAPTER VII: TALES FROM THE BARF SIDE

1. The Debbil Made Me Write It!!

Welcommmeee... to the
Inner Stinkdommm....!!!! devilish light falls on one Saint ...
in the Nick of Time!!!!!!!!!!

2. Fer Cripe's Sake... I Can Smell Thee!!

The cleansing of Marshall, mal-odorous Dirt Devil (a far
fouler dirty bird than The Raven)

3. Dat Ain't What Uncle Remus Said

Did the Wonderful
Tar Baby have children of it's own...? Is one of 'em in there
pitch-in' at St. A's today...? Aw , come to your senses !!

Run the gamut of the Berlitz School
Of Booze alphabet from A to A; speak fluent Wine- nese and know
whereof you slur!

Well into the Rum Of The Alkiebet... could there still be a
Red Letter's dim glow through a drunken haze...? I ... hopes so.

1. A Cure For Mundania

Metamundanics 1...2... 3... ! Don't grab at a star by hopping a starship ...; Just--- Go For It !

2. The Witch Of The Walk

To the Twilight Going (where no Mundane's ever gone before ) A bewitching Dream Girl shows quite an eyeful...Mindwise .

EPILOGUE: " And To Conclude..." Aftermagic

Blink your mind's eye, and it's back to the Basers. But you know, they can be fun, too... just Imagine!

Intrigued by the sampled

PEARLS?

Maybe you wonder: What's It All About, Ozzie?

Well, here's the price of discovery!

Send $12 in check or money order to:

Thom Kegley

173 Glenwood Avenue suite 301

Minneapolis, MN 55405

( allow 2 to 3 weeks for delivery )

or ... for you plastic people in a hurry,

E Mail us at:

...And get the whole

SWILL...

hurled back at`cha!

So what's to lose? Peruse...

...beats sittin' on a anthill with honey on yer butt!!

Actual Size: 8.5" X 11"

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